I have a learning difficulty, tell me again why I shouldn’t talk about it?
When I go to read, it’s the spaces and the white page that stand out to me, the words are secondary. Often when reading, I have to really concentrate and strain my eyes to truly see and absorbs the words. Read too long and the words start being swallowed by the spaces on the page beginning to make patterns.
For the most part, it doesn’t bother me too much. Yeah, I could do without the almost constant eye pain and the headaches when I read that make me a lot more fatigued than the average person, but you get used it.
We live in a world surrounded by reading. Whether you’re looking at your phone or road signs, we are always reading so you find ways to help and get around it. Turn the brightness down, change the background colour, make the text bigger, and even read aloud.
But the one part of my life where it affects me the most is when I read for pleasure. I love reading books and escaping to a world that is completely my own, but it isn’t easy for me to do so. When you spend your whole day reading it can be difficult to find the motivation or time to pick up a book and put all of your concentration into it when your head is throbbing, and your eyes can barely stay open.
When I do find a book that completely grabs me, I find myself becoming frustrated at how long it takes me to read it or for wanting to put it down. I hate borrowing books or telling others when I’ve started a book for the pure fact that it takes me so long to read a single book. I’m scared of judgment for something I can’t really control.
I didn’t find out I had a learning difficulty until I was 16 years old. My school had always just thought that I was being lazy because I was a smart girl who was perfectly able to read. They even ignored worries that came from both myself and my mother asking for me to be tested for a difficulty.
I didn’t fit into the stereotype that has been embedded into us that you can only have a learning difficulty if you’re stupid or badly behaved. It’s a stereotype I have seen at every stage of education I have experienced. It means that many students go struggling throughout their studies because they aren’t taught or given better methods to help.
I hope the physical book purists out there are reading this. It’s time everyone understands that there are different ways to read and enjoy stories than just picking up the paper version. From this moment onwards, I will no longer feel like less of a book blogger or reader for choosing to listen to an audiobook, reading an eBook, or graphic novel over the paperback on my shelf.
Physical books are great, but they are not always accessible to everyone all of the time. It’s time to stop shaming people for finding a way to read that is more comfortable for them. Maybe it’ll stop someone else with a learning difficulty from being embarrassed to admit they have one.
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